To Win Back Your Ex Love, Give Them Time And Space

Published: 17th December 2009
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If you are wondering how to save a marriage or how to win back your ex girlfriend or boyfriend, you probably aren't sure what to do next. You might be afraid you'll make the problem worse by making even more mistakes on top of those that led to the break up.

There is a huge risk that you may drive an even bigger wedge between you and have even less of a chance of getting back with your ex. I understand this is not an easy time, full of emotions ranging from despair to angry and frustrated.

As hard as it may be, when you allow your emotions to dictate your actions, it is highly unlikely that you'll get the results you want. So if you are still in love with your ex and there is enough good there worth saving, what can you do to increase the chances of success to win him back (or her).

Stop and honestly examine how you are feeling. Are you calm about the break up or still highly emotional?

Perhaps the break up was amicable and mutual, but now you realize that you miss your ex more than you imagined you would. If so, staying cool and unemotional shouldn't be that hard and you may be ready to open a dialogue about reuniting.

But if the break up was particularly upsetting and painful for one or both of you, you and your ex are going to need time and space. Do not go chasing after your ex as a way to get your ex back and especially when emotions are still sky high and both of you are still feeling rather raw.

Giving both of you time and space is a wise move. You may feel that you are both just hiding or running away from your issues, but you aren't. You actually are giving yourself and your ex the best chance of understanding what had happened and seeing if anything can be done to rectify it.

Use the time and space constructively. Use this time to reflect on what went wrong and why. What part did you play that led up to the separation? Could you have done anything differently? However, don't use this time to mope around, let yourself go downhill, or feel sorry for yourself. If you have any destructive patterns that led to the breakup, now would be the perfect time to take a defined action to fix those behaviors. It will make you a better person and this might be just what your ex needs to believe that you are willing to change. An extreme example would be if you are an alcoholic, it would be the perfect time to join AA and clear your liquor cabinet!

Take time to think things through, understand how you contributed to splitting up and take the necessary action to fix it. Then, when ready, start communicating with your ex in a positive, non-blaming manner. This would be a great start in how win back your love.


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